Reflection

This semester went by so fast, I feel like it was August then I blinked and it was suddenly December. The past few months have been about growth, not only academically but in every other way possible as well. My

determination and values have been tested time and time again as responsibilities and fears of the future add up. At the same time though, I can not help but look back and say that I am stronger than I have ever been. Academically I have learned about how to persevere, develop my own opinions and delve into topics I care about. 

Senior Literature and Composition has been a big part in helping me achieve those things. Through the college essay  process I had to look back on my life and define who I  am and what defines me as a person, and I am still working on that.  The class time and feedback was really helpful and helped me better cope with the college application process. The memoir unit was hands down my favorite unit. I read A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard and it was interesting, heartbreaking and eyeopening. It was nice to be able to chose something that interests me Another aspect of that unit that I liked was listening to presentations on other memoirs. The world is crazy and people have so many different stories, to hear some of them helps to get a broader perspective of the world. The Laramie Project was also very impactful for  me. It was a challenge for me to develop where I stand  and sort through all the biases associated with the Mathew Shepard case. The Pro-Con debate was the hardest unit of the semester. However, I enjoyed doing research and developing an informed decision about controversial topics. Overall, the semester went great and I am really enjoying the class and the work.

A Choice

The Mathew Shepherd case raised questions around the world about societal attitudes on controversial issues. The 20/20 special on Mathew Shepard says " at the time there were so many hate crimes and this one stood out". But the real question is: why? Mathew Shepard's story is chilling and sometimes uncomfortable to read about but his story was meant to be heard. The truth about social attitudes had to be uncovered. Mathew Shepard's death may or may not have been a hate crime but the truth is that his situation forced people to think about their attitudes towards him. They were faced with the question of which is more important to me: human compassion and acceptance or a very conservative and literal view on the bible. Essentially does love or hate prevail?
Some chose love. The scene in The Laramie Project where there is parade banner in Mathews honor and hundreds of people join in is heart-warming. It illustrates that people care and that Aaron McKinney and Russel Henderson were exceptions. Others dealt with a more difficult decision of choosing love against their previous beliefs. People in both the video clips and the books say that the situation in Laramie after Mathew Shepard's death say that their view change and equality was revealed.
Others chose hate. In the 20/20 video Fred Phelps,leader of the Westboro Baptist Church chose to embrace hate, even at Mathews funeral. This shows that although as a society we are making a step in the right direction there will still be hate filled people. The extent to which Fred Phelps demonstrated his hate is appalling and a rarity. However, there will always be others that are more silent with their views, and they are entitled to those views.
I recognize that Mathew's case is complex and it may  or may not have been a crime motivated by hate. But the real aftermath of the crime was the uncovering of a social flaw where people were forced to make a choice.
1 John 4:7-8  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Motivation to Survive (Memoir reflection #3

One can argue that success drives society, or more specifically the fear of failure. It is the ultimate failure to not be successful, if that makes any sense. In The Secret to Success by Eric Thomas,a motivational speaker,  the idea of motivation as the driving force to success is argued. Thomas argues that " you have to want to be successful more than you want to breath". In order to be successful food,sleep and family have to be sacrificed, is basically what Thomas is saying. Although this is a great tip for gaining success monetarily it does not explore the idea that success can come in all different forms. Yes, to really work for a goal you will sacrifice, but for most success is finding a balance in life between family, a career, a social life, and personal happiness. Every definition of success will be different for every person but Thomas is correct that the work that goes into success is long and hard and that you have to find motivation.

The area where success is clearly defined is in the sports arena. It is clear as day if an athlete is successful or not. In Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success by Phil Jackson, Jackson explains what it takes to be successful and how it feels to be a great success. Success is a combination of things including; heart,compassion,strength, will-power and dedication. Jackson as a former NBA player and world renown coach knows a thing or two about success. Jackson had a well rounded view on character as well as success and has become a role model to many. And in the words of Jackson " Always keep an open mind and compassionate heart" which could very well be the key to success.

Positivity- Memoirs Week 2

Something that can be very hard for people is staying positive through everything life throws at us. However, all the memoirs that were presented this week had something in common; they all featured a central character who lived through their experiences and then prospered because of a great outlook on life. In almost all of the memoirs including: Lucky, Marley and Me, The Liars Club, A Stolen Life, Glass Castle, and Lone Survivor, the main character took their various hardships and found growth in them. Instead of wallowing in the past they decided to remember it, learn from it, grow from it and move on.
The past is a collection of little bits and pieces of who we are and when we gather them all up we get who we are today. In situations like in Lucky by Alice Sebold where a woman is raped her first year in college the past can hold you down and keep you in its grasp or you can choose,like her, to get back up and move on as a stronger person.
For me, staying positive is an ongoing struggle. It is comforting and inspiring to me to know that people who have incredible, heartbreaking and moving stories can move forward as a force to be reckoned with. Jaycee Dugard the author of A Stolen Life and Marcus Luttrell author of Lone Survivor  both took their experiences and helped others in similar situations find happiness.Both opened charities to help and support others.The ability to hunker down and move forward despite a hardship and even help others along the way is something that I like to think is in all of us.My mind immediately goes to the lesson most of us have hear our entire lives;  when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

The story of the most impact to me was The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. Everything about her and her story is positive. Through everything that she had been through, homelessness,poverty and hunger she remained brave and clung to the hope of a better future. She became a poster child for what a positive outlook can do for you with hard work and a little luck. Jeanette Walls is an incredibly brave and positive person who inspired me through her hope for the future and positive demeanor.

Memoir Reflection Week 1

The memoirs that were presented on this week all had powerful messages about humanity and memory. Everyone's story is different and from each one a lesson is to be learned. The most impact-full stories to me this week were Lone Survivor, Two Kisses for Maddie, and A Long Way Gone.

In Lone Survivor, Marcus Luttrell tells his story of war and his internal conflicts. Marcus Luttrell deals with the internal conflict of faith in humankind. At the beginning his faith is shot down with the two sheep herders however his faith is then restored in his experience with lokhay. This stark contrast in the two types of people Luttrell dealt with in the war helps to break down stereotypes. This is very interesting because although Luttrell describes his attackers with racial slurs people of the same race protect him and return him to safety.

Two Kisses for Maddie is very different, this story tells of Matt Lauglin and how he deals with the birth of his daughter and the death of his wife in a 27 hour period. The main lesson that can be taken from this book is that life is unexpected and sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and roll with it. Lauglin's story is heart wrenching yet he finds solace in his newborn daughter and finds happiness in her. The book illustrated the two certainties in life: birth and death. It is important that the life in between those two things is lived well and to the fullest.

While Two Kisses for Maddie was heart wrenching, A Long Way Gone strikes a cord in the heart that is unforgettable. This is a story of Ishmael Baeh, a child soldier in Sierra Leon. He travels around the country fighting for what he believes is right leaving a path of death and destruction. While it is easy to believe that the problem of child soldiers is far away and unrelatable it is a very real problem. Child soldiers often find inspiration in American war films so in a way America is promoting a revolting social conflict. The world as a whole has a responsibility to protect humankind. The fact that these helpless children are suffering from a horrible,corrupt government is a testament to the fact that humankind has lost some of its conscience.Hopefully, the book will bring awareness to the cause and slowly people will start standing up for the cause and making a difference. Even if only one child is saved they can change the world. Just look at Ishmael Baeh.

The War

Since the beginning of time, people have had to deal with the gruesome results of hate, war and violence, and are entrusted with the task of trying to find an alternative. The War explores how war and violence effect people and possible ways to avoid violence and its harsh aftermath. Violence is a thoughtless way of solving conflicts and distracts people from more meaningful things in life.

Often times violence is a result of mis-communication and ignorance. While, some may think violence is a way to protect freedom and liberty, there are other ways of resolving conflict that do not involve violence. If societies around the world are educated on their differences and taught toleration and compassion, violence would decrease significantly. In The War, the major conflict is between the Simmons, Stu and Lydia, and the Lipnicky children. Due to the fact that none of  the children are educated beyond sixth grade, they find themselves in situations where the only solution they see is violence. For example when the children cannot agree on how to share a tree house they result to all out war with one another. The children grew up not knowing any other way of problem solving beyond violence, if they were taught other ways of coping it would not have resulted in that. The setting of the book is during the Vietnam war. Stephen, the father of Stu and Lydia, fought in the war without knowing where it was cause he was fighting for. If Stephen had been more educated he might have not participated in a fruitless war. If people know how to avoid violence and what war entails, they will not be apt to engage in it and the world will be a better place.
When violence occurs it scars the lives involved because as Lydia says "War is like a big machine that no one really knows how to run and when it gets out of control it ends up destroying the things you thought you were fighting for, and a lot of other things you kinda forgot you had"(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111667/quotes). War leaves regret within people that they spend their whole lives trying to redeem. Traditional views on war are of honor and courage, however those who return from war are plagued with regret and remorse. When Stephen returns from war he is thought of as a deadbeat dad by his children even though he was awarded a Gold Star, and spends the rest of his life trying to redeem himself as a father and a person. Stephen becomes bound to the  war and what he did there, his life will not be complete without redemption from his actions.When Stephen comes home he tries to become the father he wishes he had and tries to teach his children about compassion and tolerance. However, Stephen cannot hold a job because of PTS and spends his time dealing with the nightmares he experiences instead of living the life he wants. He spends his life as a prisoner to his memories of the war which takes him away from his aspirations. In life and especially in war "sometimes all it takes is a split second for you to do something you'll regret the whole rest of your life"(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111667/quotes ). This is why war should be avoided, so people can live their lives and reach their dreams.
War is an unnecessary and avoidable way to solve conflict.If societies are able to put aside their differences and learn to compromise then meaningless wars would go un-fought and people would be able to live their lives without the burdens of war. Due to the tragedies and aftermath of war society should learn to embrace a more peaceful way of resolution.

The Future

"Around here,however,we don;t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward,opening new doors, and doing new things, because we are curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths"-Walt Disney

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future. My future in particular. I realized that for once, I do not have a plan. My future is an endless sea of possibilities, anything can happen. The wonderful and daunting thing about the future is that you can never know what is around a corner, but you go anyways. Right now I am turning a corner in my life, trying to find the answers to what exactly is around that corner. The truth is though, I do not have the answers.

I do not know where I want to be. I do not know how I will be an individual away from my family. I do not know what I want to do with my life. I do not even know WHO I want to be. I am unsure and confused but excited at the same time. With every decision that I make some doors will close and others will open. However I will never know if I made the right choices and that is the scary yet exciting part of life. I guess part of growing up is learning how to trust your heart and the decisions you make. And to know that it is perfectly OK not to know yet. Yes, eventually I will have to decide on a school and let go of my family and friends. Another thing about the future is that it is dynamic. Nothing is ever set in stone and I am blessed with the task of sculpting my future as I move forward. Nobody else can do that for me.

Just me.

The Golden Rule

Memories are funny. Not in the laughing sort of way but in the way that you never know when they are going to be created. Or how they will impact you. You never know in life when a memory is in the making and how it effects you. In a way your life is a string of memories that make you exactly who you are. Some memories however have the power to define you and impact your life in incredible ways.
My life has had a many defining memories, some as joyous as the birth of my siblings, others bitter like the divorce of my parents. However my most impactful memory happened this summer. It was not an event that changed the way my life was, it changed the way I live it.
I was on a volunteer trip to inner-city Los Angeles. At the start of the trip we took a Prayer Tour of the city. We saw what you would expect in Los Angeles: the infamous Hollywood sign, Universal Studios,  Hollywood Boulevard, the Fashion District, Korea Town and even the Financial District. The final destination of the Prayer Tour was Skid Row. Skid Row is literally blocks and blocks of  people, homeless people. I felt so uncomfortable, like I shouldn't be there. I did not belong there after all, I thought I had nothing in common with them and that in some way they were going to harm me. Then I was told to try and look at each person how I would want to be looked at. It was the ultimate golden rule test. So I looked hard at each person taking in their situation and their appearance and then accepting them in their entirety. One by one, I looked at each person and found walls collapsing in myself. Each of those people did need and want someone to care, regardless of their situation.
From that day forward I try to not pass judgment. I  may fail sometimes but I am trying. This is a memory that has made me who I am and hopefully will stay embedded in my heart and help to define the way I look at the world.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken

Rowing is one of the oldest and most demanding sports in the world. It is also my favorite sport. My decision to join a crew team three years ago has changed my life and taught me more about myself than anything else. There is something so special and raw about being in a boat with 4 or 7 other people that are perfectly in sync, connecting like a string being pulled through the boat. We move as one to pull further and further away from the competition. With that strong sense of connection you pull harder, without waiver, because you cannot let down the teammates in front of you and behind you or upset the delicate balance of the boat.  it does not matter if your hands hurt or your legs are cramping up you never ever give up,you just can't. And that is why rowing is my favorite sport.

My favorite food is anything that my grandma makes. Her classic meal consists of twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole,ham, and salad. Whenever this food is around I know that great memories will be created and my loved ones are around me.She has an incredible talent of bringing people together through her food. For example, today she brought 2 couples from Russia,a woman from Hong Kong, a woman from Nepal,a family from Japan and our own crazy family together to enjoy a classic Labor Day cookout. And teach us all a little about cooking!

My favorite experience was going to Cheley Colorado Camps throughout my childhood. It has been my home away from home. A place where I have climbed mountains of my own making and those that exist in the real world. It is a safe haven from the harsh stresses of the real world. Cheley sisters come from all around the world and  surround me with love and push me to be a better person. Without this experience I would not be the person I am today. And moving forward with my life I know that the values that this special place has instilled within me will bring me through and that a sister is never far away.

Oh the places you will go...